Posted: 10/25/2009 01:00:00 AM MDT


I have a friend in Boulder, with whom I often engage in robust conversations about race and bias. My friend believes that we can label a person as a racist if we witness them behaving in certain ways over time. The idea being, that over time people will show us if they are a racist by acting in ways that we might define as racist behaviors. Theoretically, once we witness those behaviors over and over again, then it is all right to label that person a racist.

I believe that if I call someone a name that I think fits that person, based solely on their behavior, then I am being judgmental. In doing so, I am using a stereotype and my own life experience to qualify my decision. And if I've decided that a racist fits a particular definition, I may also treat that person in a particular way. Once we label a person as racist, (or anything), we set in motion a set of behaviors and actions that match the stereotype.

I recently read about a judge in Louisiana who denied an interracial couple a marriage license and he was labeled a racist. He defended his decision, saying he cared about the children of interracial couples and the hardships they may face. Was this judge hoping to protect for this couple's not yet conceived children? Or is he truly a racist by definition or culture because he denied this couple a marriage license?

On the receiving end, when we are called a racist, our behavior is changed because we become hurt and take it personally. We get defensive and the conversation turns to justify how and why we are not, in fact, racist. This breeds yet more undesirable behaviors.

Recently much of the world witnessed Congressman Wilson call President Obama a liar. Former President Carter then said outbursts such as Wilson's are based on racism. This begs the question. Is Wilson a racist based on the behavior we witnessed? Or is he just a disrespectful jerk, as others have posited? Or, is he a brave voice, as still others suggest? The answer you give likely depends on your feelings, perspective, and experiences about race. And so goes the conversation about racism.

I have learned that a strategy that serves me is to take in the information or awareness I have about biases (my own or others') and ask myself, "Do these biases serve me?" I believe that our biases are based on our life experiences and are the root of racist behavior.

Having these robust conversations with my friend, with whom I have a trusting relationship, allows both of us to truly express our feelings, perspectives, and experiences about race. But the question lingers; which one of us is right about how we view racism?

Currently the conversations on race are very divisive and polarizing. We are modeling to each other that we can't really talk about race or socioeconomics without hurting each other. We have to be willing and able to talk about these issues from an open and honest place if we are to make changes.

We have to be able to have conversations on how our biases show up if we are to make progress in race relations. How do your biases show up?

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Bill de la Cruz can be reached at conversationson@gmail.com